The Faces of Deer

Deer are and have always been very special to me.  They appear at times I need them most, when I need to be a witness to Grace and Beauty, to be reminded of Mystery and Freedom, to be led across the bridge from Fear to Love, or to learn the simple pleasure of communicating Peace to another Being. I have stood in woods for eternal moments in the silence of trees staring deer in their bewildered eyes, basking in their essence, asking for their Wisdom. Each time I walk away feeling Beloved. The day after my Grandmother passed, when I was overcome with grief, I stood in wonder in the backyard of the house where I work as several deer convened in the grass. This was a rare occasion to begin with, but what was even rarer was the way they stayed when we came near. So, there we stood, me and my three year-old sidekick and his mother, probably ten feet from the nearest deer and up to our ears in amazement.  These were young deer, perhaps too young to know the danger of coming so close, though I like to think they were just feeling adventurous that morning. I was reminded of the last conversation I had with my Grandmother. It was my wedding day, and just hours before the fall that finally broke her. And as we talked about the wedding and my upcoming move to Australia she said to me: "I've had my adventures. Now it's your time." How can I tell you then what it was like for me to see these young deer, so free and fearless, stopping and staring at us with such fierceness of spirit?  My soul was at its knees. And what those deer communicated to my soul in that moment of connection, I lack the perception to say. All I know, is in that moment, healing began. All I know, is whether you are a three year-old just learning to say hello to life, an eighty year-old learning to say goodbye, or somewhere in between, whether or not you have ever looked into the eyes of another Being and asked for them to teach you something, you are Beloved. 

When for too long I don't go deep enough

into the woods to see them, they begin to

enter my dreams. Yes, there they are, in the

pinewoods of my inner life. I want to live a life

full of modesty and praise. Each hoof of each

animal makes the sign of a heart as it touches

then lifts away from the ground. Unless you

believe that heaven is very near, how will you

find it? Their eyes are pools in which one

would be content, on any summer afternoon,

to swim away through the door of the world.

Then, love and its blessing. Then: heaven.

-Mary Oliver

(The picture was taken at Shenandoah National Park last summer on Yuki's first camping trip. You can click to enlarge.)